Thursday 1 June 2017


I love a bit of Dolly.  Did you know that?

I have butterflies right now.  We are in limbo, half way between this current life and the one in my dreams and minds eye.  My minds eye is vivid in colour, a place where there is never a grey sky and the garden is magically water some how.  :)  You know the type of dream you have, that when you wake you are sad it wasnt real.  

I finish my contract next week.  Then I will be a lady that lunches for some time.  I am a little scared of not having a structured day.  A daily list to keep me going.  I am afraid I will be in a holding pattern, circling, not sure if our dream will come to fruition.  (Eric just glared at me, as in the back ground of writing this I have Dolly Parton youtubes playing.  He is a Shirley Bassey fan, he likes it when I rush about with the vacuum).

We havent seen a house yet, we are going to rent we think.  Sell pretty much everything in the house apart from my books.  They are going to my parents house.  The house is ready, we are waiting for the estate agent and for the photographer to give us a date.  Since when did estate agents use real photographers.  I  am thinking magazine photo shoot!  lol  it will be far from that, dont worry.

Butterflies I tell you.  Huge ones that make me feel sick and giddy at the same time.  Like aliens waiting to burst out.

When I hear this song I think of the {TV series Butterflies}, (that is me dancing with the dogs and throwing dog treats about!!!).  I have had many a cooking disaster like Rea.

I am sure many people who have moved to their small holding or their much anticipated forever home, felt exactly like this.  Scared to let go of the old, embrace the new.  I am sure there will be many frustrations.  I am sure we will buy a house that is a pit like this one was.  I am sure the garden is going to take years to get going and functioning like my grand parents.  I am sure, that I will be frustrated with the 'dreckly', that is employed further west, (I already have to ask my parents when they say a time, is that Devon time or London).  My MIL opperates on Cornish time.  We will get used to it.  We are hoping for a time of adjustment, where we slow down a little.

I am sure I will want to rush making any house our own.  I am sure we will want to rip the bathroom out as soon as we move in.  I am sure the dogs will be out of sorts.  I am sure I will be out of sorts.  I am sure I will need to get water butts and underground rain water storage in as soon as we can.  I am sure we will need to get the veggie garden up and running as soon as we can, even if it is just marking it all out.  I am sure that no matter what, if there is a garage it will leak.  I am sure that if we get a house with oil heating, there will be no oil in the tank.  I am sure that I will have problems with my food storage area, no where has the pantry of my dreams (it looks like a bunker!).  I am sure that there will be a hole in the fence that one of the dogs will find.  I am sure, we will not like at least one neighbour, who on first meeting us, will slag off the last owner and say something like "I hope you arent going to be like the last owner and not fix the wall where it is falling down, my in laws always comment on how unsightly it is", which will make me want to scream in their face as the removal men will be bustling by and they are getting an eyeful of the contents of our house.  I am sure the removal men will drop something like my dining table or my only heirloom my Grans cupboard.

I am sure we will have a hard time sorting out the council tax, the water board (putting a metre in), the oil company or the gas company.  I am sure, on the day we move in we will find that one of the doors doesnt lock or a window doesnt latch properly.  I am sure once everyone has gone and we are alone.  I will quietly cry in the toilet, with hot, stinging tears of "what the hell have we done".

What I am sure of, is the feeling that we will be free.  Like a long held breath under water, where you are trying hard to hold it in as long as you can and it starts to burn a little.  Letting it go of that feeling will be a little giddy at first, then the spreadsheets will come out and we will work.  Work hard to make it work.  Just like if we cashed it all in and moved to France, it will be hard to come back from it financially.  (houses are cheaper down there, if houses all across the country appreciate at 10%, if we buy one for 400, we will increase by 40, where as a 700 house up here will make 70.  The gap every year will be larger and larger.)  We are in it for the long haul.  No going back.

The sea is calling me, a new life beckons.  Lets hope it is as good as the dream.

I will leave you with a lovely duet of Dolly and Miley Cyrus.

p.s. if you want to see what my current house looks like.  Leave me a comment with the email you use to sign in to blogger.  I wont publish it. I will add the email to my private viewers list.  I will give you warning again as my blog will go private whilst they are up.  But I am thinking what about Tuesday?  Ok.  there we go.  Todays post. *dances out the room to throw cornflakes about*.  (I am actually off to make the dogs dinners.  The glamour never stops in this house.  All go!)


local alien said...

Phew, you'll be glad when this is all over. Gotta lotta worrying going on there. Take a big gin and tonic and go into the garden. You'll be living in your paradise soon.

Sol said...

Hey Linda, I had a shandy in the garden with the dogs earlier. phew its quite warm here 24 oC. Tomorrow it is supposed to be 26. No sea breeze here to cool us

Sue in Suffolk said...

Stop worrying! You'll be fine.

Sol said...

Hi Sue, I am so looking forward to getting where ever we are. I think I am willing to accept anything right now. Tomorrow will be different! lol Hope you are well.

kymber said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sol said...

Blogger kymber said...
first off - i am glad that you are saving your books - we landed here in the middle of gawd-awful nowhere with 76 boxes of books - bahahaha! and when you get the "professional" photos and go private - make sure to add me although i think you have my personal email. if not, send it to the one just mentioned and i'll reply from my personal address.

yes many people who have moved to their small holding felt exactly like you feel right now. and i will share this with you - yes - you are probably going to get a pit of a house like our crappy cottage. it will probably require waaaaay more work than your current home did. hopefully you can get a crappy pit of a home with an already established garden - if so - you lucky dawg! if not, roll up yer sleeves gurl!

if the bathroom at your new place is anything like your bathroom at your current place was when you bought it - bahahahahahah! carpet going all around the tub and halfway up the wall - that was a doozy! and forget about worrying about the garage leaking - how about all of the "leaking" places you found when you moved into your current house??? again - bahahahah!

oh and moving day? that will be a blast! we had all of our stuff already packed and marked when the moving truck came and backed into the meridian and sunk in the grass! on a very busy street in ottawa at 8:45am. took 2 hours and several police cars to get the moving truck unstuck and for the police to re-direct traffic. when the moving truck arrived at our crappy little cottage - it couldn't make it up our million mile driveway full of ruts and very steep. it was a nightmare! we would drive our truck down the driveway, pack it as full as we could and then unpack at the house. wash. rinse. repeat. about 7 or 8 times!

BUT - YES - YOU WILL FEEL SO FREE! i understand the holding the breath to finally be free.

you have made the decision to be in it for the long haul and just being near the sea will work wonders for your spirit. we love our river and nothing calms us down more.

i know this comment is a blog post but i want you to know that everyone who has ever made this leap - goes through the same thing. everything that can go wrong WILL GO WRONG! but you've been in hard places before, you know what to do and it will take work.

but the feeling of "feeling free" is worth all of the back-breaking work it is going to require from you.

one last piece of advice - if you get a crappy cottage like ours with no garden and sheds and greenhouses needing to be built - don't wait 7 yrs to buy a small, used tractor. just bite the bullet. you'll save yourself a ton of back-breaking work! wish someone had have told us that 7 yrs ago - bahahah!

you'll do just fine! you'll work around all of the problems and frustrations - and yes - you may end up in a bin in the bathtub that is full of hot water that you boiled on the stove from fresh-fallen snow. ask me how i know. you might even end up crying in your bin of boiled fresh-fallen snow. but you'll shake it off because you will remember the reason you chose to do it. to be free!

i hope this helps. sending much love. your friend,

Sol said...

Hey Kymber, you know exactly where I am coming from. You are so en pointe with everything you say. We have been through the mill with a lot of houses, but I must say, taking the roof off day one and then 2 weeks of torrential rain that flooded this house no matter how many tarps they added, didnt get me off to a flying start with loving this house. I dont think we were ever meant to stay. I must admit I laughed my head off when the shower tray and the bath fell through the rotten floor here. I am ready to do one more reno. But I have to get my garden right. Its going to feed us. Garden and water storage for watering my veggies.

as you say, no compromise will ever feel as good as freedom from the mortgage. If we can find somewhere with a bore hole, septic tank and solar panels. I will be dancing naken in the garden! If at first we dont have that, we will add it. The less we have to do with big business the better. THe water company in that area is the most expensive in the UK.

We will be water storage nutters I tell ya. Water butts all over and I have costed out 2 underground water tanks. I have even seen the toilet I want that put the water from the sink where you wash your hands goes straight into the cistern of the loo to flush it the next time. Clever right!

Hope you are well.

kymber said...

just did a re-read - somehow my public address got cut off. send to want to stay in touch when you go private and i want to see all that you did to the current house and i want to follow you on your journey once you get the new place.

and being that yer a bit of a nutter too - i will say -

"if you build it, they will come"
from the movie "Field of Dreams".

i have always loved the promise in that small sentence. and i believe in it wholeheartedly! xoxox

Sol said...

Hi Kymber I cut it off so it wasnt on the blog. I have it saved already for when I go private. it will only be private for a few days. then I will take those posts down and carry on as before.

kymber said...

sounds good hon!

Patricia (La Chatte Gitane) said...

All of your "I'm sures" or similar will happen. But you'll take it in your stride, and you'll feel all the better for it afterwards.
It is no good to dwell on the what ifs too much though, just deal with it when the time comes and you'll be absolutely fine.
A great adventure is about to start ! xxx...x

local alien said...

So interesting reading the comments. Boy are you both pioneers! Sounds as though you both know about hard work. BRAVo SOl for what you're doing. Keep blogging please

Sol said...

Hey Patricia, we are ready for it! I think it is going to be hard, but like every house we have owned, we will get there in the end.

Hey Linda, I will keep blogging, I will just make it private whilst I show you all pictures of the house. I dont want the weirdos in the outer net looking and being rude. its just easier. Drop me your sign in email and I will add it to the allowed list. I wont publish it. I promise.