Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Pete Tong

From Lifehack

Everything has gone a bit wrong with the selling and buying of houses.  We have taken stock, sat back, thought about it.  Cried a little = Me.  Slammed doors = Me Stamped foot = Me.

Then logic came through the door in the shape of 3 large gangly men, known by Posh Boy since they were all first thrown together as scared 8 year olds in a cold room and told to unpack and that their parents had gone home, (boarding school is not like Hogworts where everyone is happy to have been left... ).

I tried to leave the snacks and retreat to the bedroom with the laptop to watch Sleepless in Seattle.  But as normal they drew me in and we chatted and then got down to the nitty gritty.  "what exactly are you trying to achieve by moving?"

More room, better area, better planned rooms, a bigger kitchen (I have a 1930's galley kitchen).

'The Broker' being more logical and mathematical than the rest said do the pros and cons whilst we are here.  They added their input.  Everything was assigned an importance number against each one and then averaged out against the last property we saw.  there was less in it than 1% difference.  

Then we added in the side about the difference in money it would cost to purchase, renovate to bring it the new house out of the 70's, stamp duty and outside space.  Then all of a sudden our house becomes very appealing.  Was changing area worth all that money?

It goes back to the move or improve.

Then Little Ben, all 6'5 of him, said let me do a video of the house, and email that and the satelite view from google to my BiL and see what he says.  

I served the pie, from {Frugal in Derbyshire's Blog }(I have a lot of venison in the freezer and 4 rabbits and soaked it all in red wine and thyme),with oven chips.  By the time I had handed out {Artic Roll}, which they all seem to love.  we had a quick diagram with some clauses about drains and the starts of a new plan.  They all agreed whole heartedly with their knees all up around their throats that we could do with a larger lounge, as I had to sit in the doorway on the kitchen steps as there isnt enough room in their for me to sit as well.

It seems ridiculous that I just want a little more space and to do that we were going to move.  With all of this and a lot of soul searching we are giving up the idea of moving.  The average house price has apparently gone up £30k this year.  When you start moving the percentage of change up the property ladder price it becomes a lot more like £70k-80k plus stamp duty.  We have just been left behind.  

What are we going to do?  Well, to start with, we need a workshop.  We had been looking at a shed for the new house, the Lady we were buying from, has with drawn this house from the market as she doesnt want to sell now as it has too many memories.  which I can understand is heart wrenching to leave.  So, a workshop we will have. 

I contacted "our Man Friday", who is a semi retired Italian from around the corner who fixes things we cant.  He came around, Pronto, had an espresso with me.  Surveyed the back garden, all 150 feet of it.  Tutted.  Walked back and forth.  "OK", he shouted, "I know a man"...

Out came his mobile phone.  "Hey G*****, comesti? *pause*.  Si Si, *lots of really fast talking none of which I caught, whilst he gave me a cheeky wink*, Siiiiiiiiiiii, siiiii *lots of wild gesticulating*, Ok, so you come now, he said in English.  and then something that sounded like "regatsi ciao bello."

20 minutes later and half a pack of biscuits and a further espresso, 2 vans arrived and 5 men poured out.  They were taken to the garden.  Lots of tutting.  What sounded like shouting.  A shovel was brought in from the van.  a hole dug.  "Prego".   Ciao's all round.  and gone.  Man Friday says, tomorrow you will have prices.  Ok for them to start new year?  Not till after the 6th.  In the mean time you need to buy 2 windows and a door.  I look in the skips for you.  if not The Boss will have to put his hand in his pocket.

There you go, the answer was here.  We just fell out of love with it.  

Is this the end of our adventure in finding some land?  Never.

Their is a hole in my heart and it is barn shaped

The difference in price from us extending this house and the price that the other house was up for, means we can maybe buy and investment for our retirement.  Who knows.  For now we need to start to like this house again and getting the workshop done will help with this.  Bits of motorbike and car in my very small dining room will be a feint memory in March.  

The urgency and stress seems to have melted away.  I feel quite calm.  Its like when you have a headache and all of a sudden the pain goes.  You are relieved and cant quite work out why.

Just maybe it wasnt a new house I needed, maybe it was new eyes.  Sometimes you need a kick in the pants by people you have known for a long time.  Who test you and stretch you and tell you when you are being a down right fool.  Those friends are true gold.  

We are very fortunate people.   We have a house, we are warm, we are OK. It will all come good.

Is this the end of the dream?  Never say never, but sometimes dreams need to stay dreams. For now anyways.  

Thank you for all of your support and well wishes previously.  

Now to make this house a home...

Sorry I dont know the origin of this.  If this is yours please contact me in the comments

20 comments:

Kev Alviti said...

I'm glad you have found a bit of piece with it all. A fresh pair of eyes can be all it takes.
I was terrible before this place thinking I'd never do it and then we pretty much risked it all to buy it. owning two houses at once. My wife was also 8 months pregnant at the time and things were pretty rocky at one stage because of my insistence at moving and my binkard vision. I think I probably made things much more stressful that I should have for her.

Sol said...

Hey Kev, we were always going to keep this house but rent it out.

But yes the stress and the constant looking on the internet at the houses. Constantly calling estate agents and weekends spent bombing around in back roads and lanes. It was a full time job.

I can get back to some of my hobbies and I have already made 2 weekend dates with my friends that I havent done for nearly 2 years as I have been searching for this Dream house. I used to fuse glass and make bits of junk jewellery. this will give me time. and time is precious.

One day I will have the house and garden. In the meantime, my cousin could do with more help with the farm. They are drowning in paperwork and lambing will be here. If there is one thing I like it is organising things.

Unfortunately the farm is running at a loss. One of the friends from Saturday night came up with about 7 ideas. I will talk to my cousin about it all and see what he thinks. We need to make it viable again. Dairy isnt it. It will be a shame, but we need to keep the farm in the family and not have to sell.

Dani said...

We're all here routing for whatever decision you come to. If you need a "fresh pair of eyes" regarding the innards of the house, why not draw out a floor plan and see what we, your readers, suggest. Perhaps it might tweak something in you that resolves a problem :)

But, I do understand your (eventual ) need for land and a barn... ;)

Molly Printemps said...

Hi Sol. So glad you have found a solution for the time being. Sometimes when you let things go, what you want suddenly appears. Those three big blokey friends of yours are pure gold!

Carol

Dani said...

P.S. Regarding the farm, and running at a loss, and wanting to keep it in the family - is there no way that you could "use" a corner somewhere on which to raise a small, small dwelling, and which you could visit over weekends to fulfill the land and barn requirement within you? Perhaps, putting a bit of dosh into the farm (instead of into your own new house / land) may be just what it needs to get it's head above water again...?

northsider dave said...

Glad you have made some future plans
Sol.

Most farms run at a loss these days. Can you not convert one of the farm buildings into a dwelling for your selves?

Sol said...

Hey Dani, Little Johns brother is an architect he said he will do the plans for us for FREE! amazing offer from him. We have an odd sized and shaped plot. He seems quite excited about being given a bit of free reign to be a bit more inventive rather than people telling him what they want. We need a larger lounge and a better shaped kitchen. I think we will end up with what is now the back of the house at the front to make the most of the passive solar heat from the lounge being at the back of the house etc

We also need all the the specs etc for solar panels for the roof as I think we need planning for those also.

I will put the plans on here and then you can all have a look!

Carol, the lads are so nice. They always have our best interests at heart and Ive known them for nearly 20 years! lol its like having even more brothers. It will all come good.

Hey Dave, the farm is shared ownership by all of the cousins in my generations of my family. My cousin can live there as long as he farms. If he stops farming there will be problems because of agricultural ties. no one else wants to farm it.

Raybeard said...

So, a solution of sorts - even if just 'pro tem' - has come out of all that heart-searching and sweat. One has to assume that it's all for the best and that you'll know it to be so when all the work has been done.
They say that moving house is one of the most stressful things one can go through - and, believe me, i know it. You've managed to experience it all without even moving!
Hope it'll all work out in the best possible way. Very good luck to the both of you.

Sol said...

Thanks Ray, we have been through the wringer for sure. it will all come out well hopefully. Feel very weary from it all. Thanks for your well wishes. we ARE NOT changing our minds. lol

susie said...

Maybe we weren't switched at birth. I think I would have lived in three houses by now.

;-)

Good luck!

Sol said...

Ha Ha Susie, this is our 13th house. We have never really settled, kept moving for jobs. There isnt that much on the market as I dont think people can afford to change.

simplesuffolksmallholder said...

We are still doing the move/not move/where/when thing.

I'm glad you are able to feel more settled where you are. Moving is so stressful

Sol said...

Hey Sue, this wont be our forever home. My forever home, till I go out in a tin box is somewhere in Devon.

like the littlest Hobo's song, I just keep moving on.

Harry Flashman said...

Sol, I knew you were a bit stressed out over the house hunting and all but I didn't know how much til now. I sure am sorry about things going so hard. I think your friends are smart people though. Since 2008, when things fell apart here, most people don't buy new homes, they either rent or renovate. It's a very practical option.

nick said...

Glad you've managed to resolve the moving impasse by deciding to stay put and do a few things with your existing house. It sounds like you've got lots of very helpful people to assist you in the process. I hope it all works out. Good luck!

PS: I've lived in 13 different homes as well!

Sol said...

Hey Harry, I didnt realise how much it was affecting us. Even down to not being able to feel like we could plan a weekend as there might be another house. What a waste of our precious time.

Hi Nick, Some people are just built to keep moving. Need to keep the momentum up and start things being changed. Else I will worry we are doing the wrong thing.

I will keep everyone posted.

Toffeeapple said...

If only they had arrived at your place before, it would have saved you a lot of angst.

Would you be allowed to extend upward as well as around?

Fingers crossed that it all comes good for you in the end Sol.

Sol said...

Hi ya Toffeeapple. We would obviously still like to move but we have to face facts that we are being priced out of the type of house we want.

We have someone coming to talk to us about the extension. Little Johns BIL said get someone who is local as they know what they will allow. When you look around here they seem to allow everything. Sideways, backwards, double storey. we will see what they say. I would love a larger bedroom as well. lol the list is growing!

Gillian said...

It's fascinating to read all this. Sometimes you just need a fresh pair of eyes, a new perspective. I know that the move was stressing you out and, when you have such a huge garden, it's nice to think you can extend and use some of that space. I know that doesn't change the area issue though. I am sure we'll be going through all of this in the new year when we try to buy somewhere. x

Sol said...

Hey Gillian, thanks for your comment. It has been really nice to know that everyone who comes here and reads my posts is supporting us.

We can get this house to be better than it is. It doesnt work for us and modern living. The garden is excellent. The area is poor. So we will make it a fortress! lol It isnt that bad but at night we are near a lane that is used for a cut through from town so there are a lot of drunk people shouting a all hours. so we will move to the back of the house to sleep.